Jar of Hearts
by writergal24
Summary: After the Victory Tour, Katniss Everdeen leaves District 12. The Quarter Quell and the War never happen. Now, 8 years later, Katniss shows up on Peeta's doorstep and asks him to take her back. Oneshot/Songfic.


My first songfic! Yay!

For those of you who read my other stories... you say it's been how long since I updated? Really? I'm sorry! But inspiration strikes when inspiration strikes and this time inspiration happened to strike while I was playing this song on the piano.

Quick Background: Right after the Victory Tour, Katniss left District 12. The Quarter Quell and the War never happened. Peeta still lives in District 12 and he owns his family's bakery.

I do not own the Hunger Games, nor do I own Jar of Hearts. In case you hadn't noticed, I am not Suzanne Collins and I am not Christina Perri. I just like to write :)

Oh, and one more note: **Bolded** words are song lyrics, _Italicized_ words are flashbacks.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>I know I can't take one more step towards you 'cuz all that's waiting is regret. And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore? You lost the love I loved the most.<strong>

I'm expecting the delivery guy, so I'm not surprised when I hear a knock at the door. I'm supposed to be getting a huge delivery of flour, so much that I have my boots on to help the guy carry it in.

But once I've yanked the door open, I'm surprised to see that it's not the delivery guy at all.

Katniss Everdeen stands in front of me.

I've grown about three inches since the last time I saw her, so she looks short. She cut her dark hair, probably a while ago. She might have even done it herself, based on the choppiness of it. But she still has the same silver eyes, the same strong figure, the same look of determination.

Katniss is looking up at me with expectant eyes, as though she's waiting for me to jump on her.

But all I can say is, "Katniss," and in response, she says, "Peeta."

_He'd been… coaching her? Haymitch had been coaching her?_

"_It was all for the Games," I said coldly, distantly. Suddenly I lose control of even my good leg. "How you acted."_

"_Not all of it," she protests._

_Not all of it._

The last time I spoke to her, privately at least. It didn't count when we pretended to be in love for the cameras those first days that we got back, nor when we had to go on the Victory Tour. Because the second the cameras switched off, the moment we were away from the crowds, she dropped my hand or I dropped her hand and we walked off in opposite directions.

And then she left.

"Where did you go?" I blurt out.

Katniss looks down at the ground, guilty, something that I haven't seen much on her face. Anger is more common, hatred even. But not usually guilt. "District 4," she responds.

"Why?" I ask, my voice cracking for the first time since I'd ended puberty five years.

"It's kind of a long story," she says. "I just couldn't be here anymore, not where I hate so many memories. Not where everyone knew me."

"Not where I was."

"Peeta…"

I shake my head. "I get it, Katniss. You left because you couldn't stand to see me anymore. I would have done the same thing."

Katniss reaches out and grabs my hand. I look down and notice that she's wearing the same boots that she used to wear when she gave my father meat. "No, Peeta, you wouldn't have. You're… you are just too good. You could never do anything like that, we both know that. You never…" She lets out a long sigh.

I pull my hand away from hers and she looks up, shocked. "What are you doing here, Katniss?"

"I… I came to see you."

Pain, hope, expectation, anger. All of these emotions shoot through me, the pain worse than anything I experienced in the Games. What does she mean that she came here to see me? What could she possibly want with me?

"I've missed you so much, Peeta. Right after I left… I realized how much I missed you and I knew that I couldn't be without you," she continues.

**I learned to live half alive. And now you want me one more time.**

"Then how come it's been 8 years and you haven't come back?" I spit out.

Katniss winces. "I thought you'd be angry."

I throw my hands up and walk into my living room. "I don't know what you want me to say! That I'm not mad? I am mad. You… you just left me."

She follows me into my house with quiet steps. "I know, and I'm sorry. Leaving District Twelve… it was the worst thing that I've ever done. I walked away from Prim, from my mom, from the woods. I walked away from Gale and all of my other friends here. But worst of all, I walked away from you." She takes a deep breath and her small figure quivers. "And until now, I just couldn't get up the strength to come back."

"You couldn't work up the strength to come back," I repeat. "Meanwhile, I'm stuck here, trying to get adjusted to my new leg and my new broken heart. And I'm also trying to figure out if I'm allowed to tell everyone that you've completely cut off communication with me or if I'm supposed to pretend we're still together." My voice rises to a yell. "Katniss, when you left me, my life was hell. And then never even to hear from you?"

Katniss is quiet for a very long moment. "I'm back now, aren't I?"

I don't respond to this comment. I'm pretty sure that whatever I say will just scare her even more and she's already shaking.

"I saw your dad yesterday," she admits. "He told me that you weren't doing so well."

"I'm doing just fine," I snap.

**I hear you're asking all around if I am anywhere to be found.**

"Peeta…" Katniss pauses yet again.

I sit down and wait for her to speak, but she doesn't. So I stand back up. "What do you want, Katniss? For us to get back together? Because I don't think that's going to happen."

**But I have grown too strong to ever fall back in your arms.**

Her face cracks like a child when they don't get another cookie. "But I came back," she objects.

"It's too late," I say.

The Katniss that I knew pops through. "Do you think any of this has been easy for me? I have dreams every night about the Games. Every. Single. Night. I can't get it out of my mind and, gosh, I missed you and my family and friends. I had _nobody_."

"That was your fault," I say. When I see her face, I feel bad. Softly, I say, "Look, we were all here waiting. You could have come back at any moment."

"I'm back _now_," she repeats.

I sigh and turn away. "Then say it."

She blinks at me. "Say what, Peeta?"

I look back at her. "Say that you love me," I say, staring into her gray eyes until they move to the floor.

"Peeta, I…"

"Say it, Katniss, and I'll take you back. But if you can't say it, I don't know if I can. I need to know that it will be different this time."

Katniss still looks shocked. "I…" she stutters.

I nod as pain rips through my chest again. I can feel the tears, the tears that usually only come at night when I allow myself to remember. "That's what I thought. I'm sorry, Katniss. If we try this, it won't work out. It will be just like last time."

**It took so long just to feel alright, remember how to put back the light in my eyes. I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed 'cause you broke all your promises.**

"But it won't…"

"I'm sorry."

I grab Katniss' hand and I lead her towards the door. I press my lips to her knuckles just as she walks out, tears dripping out of her eyes. "I'll miss you, Peeta."

I shut the door.

**Now you're back. You don't get to get me back.**

The moment the door closes, the tears start. And I let them fall. Maybe I'll always wonder if it would have worked out, if we could have been happy together. But there will always be that shadow, that distant possibility that she'll get to the end of the aisle and instead of saying "I do," she'll run away to the woods.

I could never deal with that again. It's happened once. I can't lose her again.

So this was goodbye.

Goodbye, Katniss Everdeen.

**Who do you think you are? Running around leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me.**

**Who do you think you are?**

* * *

><p>So... did you like it? Review please! I'll send you virtual chocolate bars!<p> 


End file.
